Sucker-punched

I feel like I was sucker punched.  I just found out that my beloved Grandma Edie has pancreatic cancer.  It is inconceivable that she’s even sick.  I mean, she’s the healthiest looking and acting eighty-two-year-old out there.  I just can’t wrap my brain around this news.  It is just so unbelievably gut-wrenchingly awful.

My Grandma and I have a very special bond.  From a very young age, I loved spending time at Grandma Edie’s house on the farm, and had an unnatural attachment to riding in her Oldsmobile.  I just thought it was the fanciest, most beautiful car I had ever seen.  As the years went on, Grandma and Grandpa were my biggest cheerleaders, rarely missing a concert, party, event, or awards ceremony.  Even now, they drive six hours round trip to attend my kids’ birthday parties.  Grandma was the person who taught me how to sew and helped me make a beautiful keepsake quilt for the birth of my goddaughter.  She has answered countless questions, like how to get a stain out of my favorite shirt or how to make the perfect potato salad.  She’s traipsed around Europe in hundred-degree heat with the rest of us Weisenbeck girls last summer, without so much as a complaint.  Basically, she’s been a rock solid pillar in my life, providing love, support, and encouragement throughout every chapter. 

The thought that I might lose her is absolutely devastating.  I am not okay with the idea that we may not get another girls weekend, Thanksgiving, or Christmas together.  Right now there is a lot that is up in the air.  We don’t really know what her treatment options will be or if she’ll even be healthy enough to have options.  All we can do right now is hope and pray for a miracle that will provide healing and health to this very special woman. 

And in a cruel twist of events, Grandpa Ralph had a heart attack this past weekend.  He was in the hospital for a few days and then was released because there are no further treatment options available to him.  Mom and Dad encouraged me to come and visit, so I headed to Durand earlier this week to spend some time with both him and grandma.  I was so happy to see that he was in great spirits; the same ole' prankster who loves to stir up trouble and joke around with everyone.  He is holding his own at home and is enjoying all the visitors.  It is so unbelievable how fast time goes and now I am faced with saying goodbye to some of my favorite and most special people.  All I can take from this is to try to remember to celebrate and cherish everyday moments and make the memories...because in a flash things can change. 

S-s-s-s-s-nakes!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am intensely afraid of snakes.  I don't just mildly dislike them; I am petrified of them.  Their long noodle bodies, their sick flickering tongues, and the way they eat make me want to gag.  I have been fortunate enough in my 33 years to have never encountered a wild snake.  My luck ran out.  In the past 2 weeks I have encountered not one, not two, but FIVE of these terrifying creatures in my yard or close to it.  A part of me wants to light my house on fire and run far away.  Another part of me realizes that even though I can't stand them, these creatures do have their place in the ecosystem and it isn't really my place to interfere.  I just wish they could be part of that ecosystem somewhere else...

I read this poem once and it has stuck with me:

I killed a spider

Not a murderous brown recluse

Nor even a black widow

And if the truth were told this

Was only a small

Sort of papery spider

Who should have fun

When I picked up the book

But she didn't

And she scared me

And I smashed her

I don't think

I'm allowed

To kill something

Because I am

Frightened

- Nikki Giovanni

And so, I guess these disgusting snakes and I are going to have to learn to get along with each other.  Thanks a lot, stupid poem.

Hugs from My-My

My-My insists on a hug from Eric before he leaves for work in the morning.

Nolan's First Day

Dear Nolan,

Today is your first day of 4K and I just got home from dropping you off at school.  Wow, this was much harder than I expected!  Not for you...you sailed through drop-off beautifully, bravely and confidently handling the situation better than I ever could have imagined you would.  See, we've been planning and preparing for this moment for months now, hoping we had given you the tools you needed to manage your anxious moments.  We've been talking about what school will look like and be like, so that you felt fully prepared.  We talked about how grown-ups always come back and that I will be there at the end of the day to pick you up.  And I am so very proud of you, my sweet boy, for how courageous and brave you were this morning.  I'm just in awe.

The hard part is that while I worked my tail off preparing you, I didn't really take the time to prepare myself for what things would be like with you gone all day.  When I first walked in the door at home, I saw your beloved green baba laying on the floor, and realized that the days you carry that blanket everywhere you go are numbered.  Man, this has happened so quickly!  Weren't you just that itty bitty (or maybe not so itty bitty) baby who I rocked and snuggled yesterday?  How can you already be in school?!

It is so quiet around the house today, which is what I beg you for on a daily basis, but now that it's quiet, it feels all wrong.  I miss my little sidekick and the billion questions you ask me every day.  But I know this is a necessary part of growing up.  It's really the first time my parenting has been put to the test - your first taste of some independence.  I hope that you are still "beating the fears" and managing any new situations that scare with you that same brave confidence I saw this morning.  I also hope that you are being kind to your classmates, and showing them the beautiful, friendly, and fun boy that you are. 

I couldn't possibly be any prouder of you and I can't wait to see your smiling face and hear all about your first day!

Love,
Your Mama

Grapes

We have loved nearly everything about our new house, especially our new neighbors.  The man who lives next door, Chris, graciously offered all his beautiful concord grapes to us.  We spent last Saturday picking grapes and making some delicious grape jelly.  It turned out absolutely delicious and the 14 pounds of grapes we picked made plenty of jelly to last us many months.  We love our generous new neighbors!

"I NEEEE YOUUU"

After being away for a few days for Mother-Daughter junkin' weekend in the cities, Livi has barely let me out of her sight.  She's always been a mama's girl, but lately she's been over the top.  She's my little shadow and if I don't pay enough attention to her, she grabs my leg and says, "MOMMMMYYY....I NEEEEEE YOUUUU! She melts my heart.

Wildwood Wildlife Park

All summer we've been promising Nolan a trip to the zoo, and with our move taking up the bulk of the sunny days, we just haven't had time.  But, last Sunday, as we were finishing breakfast and realizing what a beautiful day it was outside, we decided to pack the kids up and take them to the Wildwood Wildlife Park in Minocqua.  It turned out to be perfect - going this late in the season meant that their were no crowds, the temperature was perfect, and the animals were active.  We enjoyed the petting zoo area with the mischievous goats, fascinating tortoises, and the cuddly little bunnies.  And we loved getting up close and personal with the many deer throughout the park.

My favorite animal encounter of the day was with this guy - this gorgeous white Bengal tiger.  We were walking by his enclosure and he was lying right by the gate so I stopped to talk to him.  And he talked back to me!!  Seriously!  He let out these adorable purrs and groans, which were most certainly happy kitty sounds, and then stood up on his haunches onto the fence.  I couldn't believe it!  I realize he could eat me if he wanted, but he sounded so sweet!

The next stop was the giraffes.  We love that the Wildwood zoo offers the opportunity to feed the giraffes.  It's so cool to be up close to such amazing creatures.  And man, is their tongue LONG!!  Nolan was really brave about it and fed Teeke several carrots.  Livi was not quite as enthused, and really was NOT thrilled when Teeke, the big male giraffe, decided to give her a big ole sloppy lick on the face. 

We spent the rest of our time there checking out the smaller animals.  I even braved a (very fast) walk through the reptile house.

I really loved this quote that they had displayed in their education area.  It really speaks to the importance of education - not only about animals and our environment, but so many other things as well.  Teachers, in the broadest sense of the word, are so important.  Teachers are what ensure the survival of all things beautiful in our culture and in our world, from music and art to the diverse beauty in God's creation to kindness to our neighbors.  We must be teachers to one another and help others learn to understand, love, and conserve those many very special gifts around us. 

Junkin' with Mama

Recently Mom and I were invited to Annalyse's sister's (Jenna) bridal shower over in the Twin Cities.  Since we were traveling such a long way for the event, Mom and I decided to make a weekend out of it and spend some time together checking out some cool junk shops in the area.  We really enjoyed the Minnehaha Mile, located on Minnehaha Ave in Minneapolis.  There were several shops along this stretch to check out - some with some really cool things and others that weren't really our cup of tea.  But each of us ended up with a few treasures, including a talking Hulk toy for Nolan and 1984 vintage Cabbage Patch horse for Livi that just happened to be dappled gray just like Elliot.  I also found this cool old autoharp that brought me back to my elementary music days with Mrs. Fedie, but I had to put it back when I realized it was cracked. The best part, obviously, was getting to spend some one-on-one time with my Mama.  We don't get to do that all that often, with my kiddos being so young yet, but it's always nice to get to have some kid-free conversation and laughs with her.  We'll probably have to make it a new tradition!

Weird!