Exhausted

Here is a timeline of our last night bedtime disasters:

6:30pm - Nolan is exhausted, which means he is literally running full speed across the house, jumping on and off furniture (Thunder jump!) and dragging every noisy and giant toy loudly across the kitchen tile.  Both kids are screaming (for fun) and resemble a pack of deranged rabid hyenas.

7:00pm - Nolan heads to bed.  Eric sits with him and he is out and sawing logs in about 15 minutes.

7:10pm - Livi is whining and following me around with her pink baba and her thumb in her mouth.  I ask her if she's ready for bed and she nods.  I get her a bottle, we pick out some books, and begin to rock her.  Her eyelids are heavy and drooping and I gently lay her down in her crib.  Instantaneously, her eyes open wide and she hollers, "Daddy, bed!!" (Translation - Daddy puts me to bed!) over and over, getting more hysterical by the moment.  I have learned over the course of these many exhausting months, that she will NOT go to sleep if I walk away when she's in that state.  So I bring her out to snuggle for a few minutes until Eric is back downstairs after putting Nolan to bed.

7:15pm - Make a new bottle, and send her in with Eric.  She fights him like a wildebeast and has no interest in going to sleep. Bring her back out to try again.

7:45pm - Attempt #3 went about as successfully as the previous two tries.

8:15pm - She's playing piano in the family room.

8:30pm - Give her some IBU profen, in case there's some mysterious ache somewhere that's preventing her from sleeping.

8:35pm - Make another bottle and send her in with Eric.  Eric can't get through the book before she calls for Mommy instead.  I go in and read her the books and give her a bottle.  She springs up the second I put her down, hysterical.

8:50pm - Climbing on the dining room chairs.  Yells defiantly at me when I tell her to be careful.  She falls of chair.  Hysterical again.  When I pick her up to comfort her, she snuggles in to my chest.  Is she maybe sleepy?

9:00pm - Rock, bounce, rock, bounce, rock, bounce - Try to put her in her crib - hysterical.  Rock, bounce, rock, bounce, rock, bounce...

9:30pm - I finally lay her down without hysteria and sneak out with the stealth of a ninja.

9;31pm - Eric and I decide to watch one episode of a show, to give the illusion we had a relaxing evening.

10:00pm - Bedtime for the grownups.  And I'm WIDE AWAKE!  Lack of downtime before bed makes it nearly impossible to fall asleep.

11:00ish pm - I finally drift off after a hefty dose of melatonin.

11:07pm - Nolan is awake and asking for some milk.  Eric assists.

11:30ish pm - We're all back to sleep.

2:00am - Livi's up and she's crying.  I go to make her a bottle, stumbling in the dark kitchen after my melatonin induced sleep.  Start to rock her.  She doesn't want her bottle.  Rock, bounce, rock, bounce.  Try to lay her down - hysteria.  Now she wants her bottle.

2:37am - She's finally asleep and again I'm WIDE AWAKE.

3:00ish am - Drift off.

5:45am - Nolan's up for the day.  Eric gets him set.

7:07am - I hear a child calling for me, "Mommy, wipe my butt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nolan's Special Day

Back in January, we received a flier in the mail from the Minnesota Orchestra.  When I looked inside, I got super excited because I saw that the Orchestra was going to be doing a concert with the Okee Dokee Brothers, Nolan's favorite music group!  (Our whole family loves them!)  They are a family-friendly, Grammy Award winning bluegrass music duo who sings about their many outdoor adventures.  Auntie Brigid gave Nolan his first CD when he was a young baby, and we've been hooked ever since.   We ordered tickets that very day, and excitedly awaited this awesome experience for our special boy.

We left Olivia with Grandpa Jim and Grandma Marcia for her first special day of one-on-one grandparent time and headed off to the Twin Cities, stopping for lunch in Woodbury.  You could tell he felt so special, having Mommy and Daddy's complete undivided attention.  He was smiley, charming, and so excited for the many cool things he was going to do and see!  

After lunch, we took him to Nadia's Cakes, winner of the Food Network show Cupcake Wars, to pick out a very special dessert for later that day.  We picked an assortment of amazingly delicious cupcakes (He picked Funfetti with rainbow sprinkles) and were on our way downtown to Orchestra Hall.

I hadn't been to Orchestra Hall since I was pregnant with Nolan.  It was really fun to have the opportunity to show him around this cool place.  He was amazed by the huge Skyscrapers, and rode the escalators over and over because he just couldn't get enough.

The Friends of the MN Orchestra set up learning and interactive stations all around the lobby.  He drew a turtle as part of the huge wall mural, and made his own paper canoe and paddles.  We got to see many of the instruments close up, as well as their Grammy awards and many other cool sights.

His mouth practically dropped open when we finally got into the performance hall.  We had nosebleed seats, in the highest balcony and the view (and sound) was amazing.  We spent the week prior learning about all the instruments of the orchestra and it was so fun listening to him identify the different instruments as they were warming up  "Look, Mommy!  It's a baffsoon! (bassoon)"

The Orchestra began the concert with an impeccable performance of a Copland piece.  He was momentarily unsure about the "loudness" when the orchestra swelled, but after some reassurance, settled right in.  Then the Okee Dokee Brothers came out and our boy just lit up like a Christmas tree.  He was so polite about clapping at all the right times, and sang along with all his favorite songs.  He did actions if they asked him to, and even used his paper canoe and paddle as a little instrument to play along.

The orchestra complimented the music beautifully and it was so effortlessly arranged.  I was so very impressed. (as I always am when I get to go to Orchestra Hall!)  They even had a projector up behind the orchestra to project the music video images of some of their songs while they were performing One of my favorite moments of the concert was during "A Thousand Star Hotel."  It started with Justin just playing his banjo and singing the first verse.  When the first refrain came up and the orchestra joined, the lights went dark in the hall, and a disco ball lit up room with a thousand sparkly stars.  Nolan's face will be forever etched in my mind at that moment.  It was just so cool.

I couldn't get enough of watching my little boy.  These songs are near and dear to my heart, because they remind me so much of Nolan's babyhood...those precious days when it was just the two of us home together while Daddy was at work.  He didn't like to get out of his crib right away in the morning and always wanted to read books himself and listen to his music before he would be ready to get out.  So nearly every morning we listened to those sweet songs, and he would bounce and dance and smile in his crib.  As I looked at the beautiful four and a half year old sitting next to me, I could catch a glimpse of that smiley, dimply baby boy who stole my heart years ago, and it honestly choked me up a little.  I am so lucky to be his mom.

After the concert, we had one more special thing planned.  Since Luke and Annalyse moved into their new house on Friday, we were going to visit them for dinner.  Being that they just moved back from California a few months ago, we haven't seen a lot of them yet, and most of the time it's been at a larger family gathering.  It was so nice to be able to relax with them, make dinner together (yummy authentic Thai soup) and see their new place.  Nolan had a blast playing with Annalyse's medical supplies and "helping" Lexie try to catch squirrels.  We are so glad they are closer now, and that we can have more days like this.  

Nolan fell asleep about 10 minutes in on our trip back to Eau Claire.  It was such a special time to share with our amazing son.  We love you, Nolan!

School

Somewhere along the line I must've blinked, because I am now the mom of a school age kid.  We had Nolan's 4K school registration the other day, and I just can't get over how fast it has gone.  My little, round, smiley baby has grown into a big kid, and it seemed to happen overnight.  I relish his adorable way of saying his r's and his l's, ("Hi, I'm No-nan.")  and the many ways he still needs his mommy and daddy because I know it won't be too long before he won't need us in the same way.  And as sad as that is, it is just how it should be and I am so very proud of him.

I was apprehensive how my sensitive boy would do at his registration night with all the new kids, new surroundings, and new teachers.  He handled it like a pro and when the teacher called his name, he paused for only a second to give me one quick look before he confidently headed off with his teacher.  I was so proud of him.  According to him, his screening went great and his teacher apparently told him he was the "king of school." 

I'm excited for him to have the opportunity to play with other kids every day, and for his curious mind to be put to work.  When we got in the car to head home he said, "Well, I guess school isn't scary after all."  I hope that holds true for him as we get closer to the fall, but this was a great step in the right direction!

Knock, knock

Lately Nolan has been really into telling knock knock jokes. Most of them leave you scratching your head, as they don't make any sense, but they almost always have two things in common: 1. they involve farts and 2. he finds them absolutely hysterical.  Livi has been joining in the fun because ANYTHING brother does, she must do, too.

Here is the exchange between the two of them:

Livi: "Knah, Knah"
Nolan: "Who's there?"
Livi: "Fah" (fart)
*Both in hysterical laughter*

End of an era

Back in 2009, Steve and his partner, Dan, opened Pioneer Equipment as a dealer and repair shop for logging machinery.  Over the past 8 years, the business has grown exponentially and now boasts over 20 employees and two store locations.  On Wednesday of last week, the closing papers were signed, and Pioneer was sold to a new investor, who will keep Steve and Dan on staff part time through the transition period of the next few years.  

Pioneer Equipment was the business that allowed us the opportunity to move back to Wisconsin in 2012, when we were expecting Nolan.  Eric joined the management team and worked hard there for 4 years, learning the ins and outs of the logging equipment industry. We are grateful for the many opportunities that Pioneer has provided for our family over the past several years.

On Friday night, we went out to Holiday Acres to toast to new beginnings as we close this chapter of family business.  Eric is now running US Forestry Distribution, which distributes Rottne machines and SP heads through the entire United States.  Patti is there along with him, managing the finances and keeping the books.  Steve will remain at Pioneer for a while longer, helping the new owner through the transition. 

Cheers to a wonderful business, great opportunities, and new and exciting beginnings!  

Solo Ensemble

Last week, I was invited to the a local school district to adjudicate their Solo Ensemble Contest.  I judged about forty performances of 6-12 grades students, performing solos, duets, double duets, and Music Theater pieces.  I was pretty excited, as I haven't done much of anything in the school setting since leaving my teaching job back in 2012!  I was a little nervous too, hoping that I could recall my skills and communicate effectively to the kids.  

Some of the performances were pretty rough.  There were a few standout performances that were great.  It was nice to work with kids, and do my best to encourage them as many of them were performing for the first time ever.  What I didn't expect was my reaction to being back in a school setting.  As I was talking to their teacher, listening to her discuss her lack of a prep time, the reality of traveling between buildings, the difficulty and disappointment in trying to recruit and retain numbers in this increasingly anti-arts education society, and the pain and frustration of trying to meet the individual needs of each student, that familiar knot returned to my stomach.  I remember all too well the frustration and anxiety that I lived with every day for five years.  Will my numbers be high enough for the administration to support the program?  Is this student being abused?  Will the school board cut my job?  How do I go on teaching when I've lost a student to suicide?  How do I handle not belonging to any school, because I float between them and don't feel welcome at any?  How do I handle parents who are confrontational or not supportive, and feel their children are above the rules?  How do I effectively communicate that the arts do matter and that students that study them are far more successful at math and reading?  How do teach a class full of 84 5th graders with no paraprofessional and several students with severe special needs?  How do I incorporate standardized testing into a music curriculum when it's like shoving a round peg in a square hole?

That knot in my stomach was like a  muscle memory or a reflex, and as I listened to that dear teacher, I had this crystallizing moment when everything was so clear to me:  I do not want to go back to public school teaching.  I love kids and I love teaching; But the emotional energy that it requires is far beyond what I can give without making deep sacrifices to my personal happiness.  It was challenging for me before I had kids.  It would be nearly impossible for me with kids of my own. Every single one of those frustrations sticks with me and makes my heart heavy and I do not want to take on that burden again.  This may sound like a sad realization, but it was actually very liberating for me.  I feel vindicated in my decision to stay home with my kids, and use my music skills in other ways in my community.  I am such a happier person than I was when I was teaching full time, and it took this experience of being back in a school again to help me realize it definitively.

Party All Night!

Little Livi Lu has been been quite a night owl lately.  Most often, around 7, our very sleepy girl grabs her pink ba-ba, finds a book, and begs me to pick her up while she sucks her thumb, telling me she is ready for bed.  We read our stories, I turn off her lamp, give her a bottle, and lay her down in her crib.  After about 10 minutes of absolute silence in her room, we hear the first rumblings of a very awake Livi.  She usually starts by talking to herself and thumping her legs against the wall.  Within a few minutes it has escalated to a very sad and NOT sleepy baby girl.  (We have tried letting her cry it out with no luck at all.)

We usually end up bringing her into the family room with us, and she is just wild.  She plays piano and squeals and laughs and climbs, knowing full well that she is running the show and keeping her parents from having any semblance of kid-free, relaxing, off-duty time.  If you try to take her back to bed before she has gotten her wildness out of her system, she WON'T sleep.  Usually about 9 or 10pm, she'll finally say that she's ready for nigh-night, and will willingly and easily go to bed.  My theory is that she cat naps for those perfect, quiet 10 minutes when we first lay her down and that it energizes her for her evening party time.  

Last week, Eric and I tried for over 3 and a half hours to get her to sleep.  After numerous bottles, rocking, music, and letting her cry, we still had a girl that could not be put to bed.  So, at about 11pm, I decided to just bring her in bed with me.  She snuggled right into my chest and was asleep in a matter of moments.  I remember her waking up once in the middle of the night, calling out "Mama, Mama!" and then she realized I was right there, and she snuggled into my neck and sweetly went back to sleep.

Because of her late night escapades, she has been tired during the day time.  I usually live by the practice of not waking a sleeping baby, so I let her sleep in a few mornings last week.  The girl slept in until 12:30!  (I did her a few murmurs from her room throughout the morning, so I knew she was safe.)  I couldn't believe that she could sleep through two meals!  Imagine when she's a teenager!  

We've been working hard to get her sleep schedule back under control and transitioning her down to one daytime nap instead of two.  Hopefully that in combination with an earlier wake up time will help her be more apt to falling (and staying) asleep at night!

Big Brother

Olivia really loves her big brother.  She wants to do everything that he does and she is always looking out for him.  Nolan adores Livi, too and I love watching their relationship grow and blossom.  The other day, Livi was pretty grumpy around lunch time and every time I tried to put her in her high chair, she had a fit - kicking and screaming and knocking the tray out of my hands.  So, I called in for reinforcements to see if maybe she would let big brother help.  He started out by offering her a grape, all the while talking to her and encouraging her.  She took it and a few grapes later, he was able to put her tray on her chair.  Fast forward a few more minutes, and they are making goofy faces at each other, with no sign whatsoever that she was ever upset.  The love between siblings is so beautiful to watch.  I'm so glad they have each other.

Spider-Nolan

The other day I was bargain hunting at Kohl's and came across this awesome Spiderman shirt.  Nolan has been really into superheroes lately, so he was really excited to show me some of his best Spidey moves!