Christmas Eve

 

Christmas Eve is usually a day filled with craziness and we're making final preparations for our trip to Eau Claire, making food for our evening gathering, and rehearsing music for church.  We usually head to the Christmas service at Trinity where  I play piano and sing, and then head on to Aunt Debbie's for Eric's family's big Christmas gathering of all the aunts, uncles, and cousins.  This year: no in-person church services, no family gatherings due to covid, and even if there wasn't a pandemic,  Debbie and Rick sold their house, so another tradition changed.  This year has tested our adaptability and resilience time and time again.  For most of the year, I have met those challenges head on, with little complaining, but now I am tired.  Maybe it's the holidays that make this feeling surface.  Maybe it's the loss of Grandma or the separation from our families at the time when we're usually together.  Maybe it's the hard conversations we've had about doing what we feel is safe, when not everyone shares the same opinion.  Maybe it's the lack of social connection or the inability to be able to make music in person or just the relentlessness of it all.  It's probably all of those things, but I am tired. As I have listened to Leslie Odom Jr.'s version of "O Holy Night" 120874384 times this season, a particular phrase sticks out to me:  "A thrill of HOPE...the weary world rejoices."  We are all so weary.  This year has been so tough.  Our world feels so broken and so in need of hope.  But, Christ was born into a world that desperately needed hope, too.  We can have hope that this pandemic will end and we can hug our loved ones again.  We can have hope that this vaccine will stop people from getting sick and help us resume lives without the shadow of covid hanging over us.  This beautiful poem, First Coming by Madeleine L'Engle, really rings true this year more than ever.  "We cannot wait till the world is sane to raise our songs with joyful voice, for to share our grief, to touch our pain, He came with Love: Rejoice! Rejoice!"

Our celebration was quiet: a video chat with my parents and brother's family, a charcuterie board and movie night for the kids, and brandy slush and Christmas Vacation for Eric and me after the kids went to bed.  Cookie and milk were set out, ready for the morning's excitement.  Merry Christmas.