Saying Goodbye

 Last night was a rough night for Grandma.  We thought it was the end.  The priest was called and Mom and her siblings gathered.  She was in a lot of pain, barely conscious and vomiting profusely.  Somehow she pulled through and rallied and by today was feeling loads better.  I've been asking Mom if I should come, but Grandpa had not wanted the grandkids to see Grandma in this condition.  But, today Grandma changed her mind and said that she would like to see the grandkids, but only if we didn't say goodbye.  Within the hour, Eric was home from work with the kids and I was on my way to Chippewa first to pick up Lucas, and on to Durand.  

Grandma finally had agreed to a hospital bed, which had been rolled out into the living room.  All of my aunts and uncles were gathered, but were taking turns with their vigil due to Covid.  Most were waiting out on the deck when we arrived, but she could still hear them talking and laughing that hearty Weisenbeck laugh from her bed.  It made her so happy to have her kids all close to her.  Mom and Michelle were taking care of her every need and Todd was in the kitchen making a double batch of her cinnamon roll recipe.  She was listening to the sounds of the dishes clanking, smelling the delicious aroma of the rolls, and was snuggled in to one of the beautiful quilts she made many years ago.  It was a display piece that she had never used before, but finally she decided it was a good time to use it.  

It's really hard to think about what to say to a loved one when you know you're saying goodbye, but you don't want to actually say goodbye.  We chatted about the weather, I showed her pictures of the kids at the pumpkin patch, and we chatted about how everyone was here for her and how much she loved it.  She told me that Jesus had been calling, both last night and this morning, but that she didn't want to go.  She told Him that she was going to miss everyone too much and that she wasn't ready to die.  She said she wasn't scared, but sad.  

When it was finally time to leave, I gave her a hug, stroked her white hair and tried not to cry while she told me these words:  "You have been a very special part of my life.  Tell your kids how much their Grandma Edie loves them.  I love you and I'll see you again."  I can't even remember what I said back to her...something about how much I love her and am going to miss her and that she was a treasure to me. And with that, we said goodbye to Grandpa and headed out.

Grandma had another couple of good days with her family keeping vigil.  She sipped brandy, ate dilly bars, had her hair washed, had a bite or two of cinnamon rolls, sang songs, and listened to the stories told by her kids.  They kept watch round the clock.  She started to fade and was eventually not able to talk anymore.  Her breathing changed.  She finally answered Jesus' call on Thursday, September 24th, in the wee hours of the morning with several of her kids and Grandpa surrounding her.  She is forever loved and will be forever missed.